30 Fun Things to do in an Elevator
by missy4eva
Summary: When you leave a list, Naruto, and everybody else together, you get a crap load of stories to tell to your cute, innocent grandchildren. Just for kicks, with unrealistic humor  crack . High School AU
1. Chapter 1

**30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:**

**Summary: **When you leave a list, Naruto, and everybody else together, you get a crap load of stories to tell to your cute, innocent grandchildren. _Just for kicks, with unrealistically humor (crack). High School AU_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: <strong>_What a pleasant idea!_

Uzumaki Naruto, the kid with the blazing blonde hair and whisker marks on his cheeks, threw his 18 scored test against his desk. He just couldn't catch a break! One night, you innocently stay up to eat ramen and watch Jersey Shore on MTV, and then this occurs. Naruto grumbled under his breath and pounded his cheek against his palm, giving a childish pout.

"Again? It's what you deserve for not studying, baka!" A pretty girl with rose pink hair scowled her sea green eyes.

Naruto pouted even more and whined to his dream girl, "But Sakura-chan! I always get an 18 or less! Kakashi-sensei is just out to get me."

Uchiha Sasuke, a ravishing handsome boy with deep coal black eyes, grunted a smirk earning a glare from the depressed boy.

"You're hopeless."

"Shut up! I'll do better ya hoe! Bet on my Dattebayo-ness!"

* * *

><p>Hyuga Neji watched curiously as his seat mate read thoroughly her test score.<p>

"A 96. Not bad…not bad. And I don't remember studying!" Tenten looked up and peered over his shoulder excitedly, "What did you get Neji?"

The older boy with moony eyes and long, dark chocolaty brown hair glanced at his paper and shrugged. "102. For the bonuses'."

The girl's lips puckered a pout and she whistled. Her dark, flaked hazel eyes blinked. "That's impressive; as expected of the Hyuga's pride."

"Hn."

"I got a 99! By the power of youth I youthfully did better than my last unyouthful test score!" Rock Lee ran over to their desks and grinned proudly, wiggling his thick, enormous eyebrows, "What did you get youthful Neji? Did I youthfully beat you?"

"He got a 102."

"…102 of youth?"

"Hn."

"With the bonuses!"

"Oh youth! My wonderful mentor of youth, Gai-sensei, will scold me! I shall youthfully do better than you at next test of youth, my eternal youthful rival!"

"…Hn."

"I am being youthfully serious!"

* * *

><p>Tenten stuffed a piece of dango in her mouth before dodging just in time to avoid a bump with a running Naruto in the busy school hall. Her forest green uniform skirt swished breezily.<p>

"Wow, that was close! Hey Tenten," Naruto grinned and slowed.

She smiled. "Hi Naruto. How'd you do for midterms?" she asked after she finished chewing.

His face fell. "I got an 18."

Tenten almost choked on her beloved snack. "Oh," she almost pitied him and patted him on the shoulder, "well, you should study next time."

He nodded glumly, "Yeah, yeah," then his spirit lifted, "Wait! Here," he slipped her two folded sheets of paper.

"What is it?" Tenten flipped them open but was stopped by a hand.

"Not here! In your room; you're the only person I can think of to give this to right now. Tell me what you think tomorrow, 'kay?"

Tenten looked more confused but she slowly nodded and stuffed it into her pocket. "Uh, hai then… If it's something weird or gross, I'll kill you."

"It's not! I swear. I think of it…endearing." He grinned and looked at her thoughtfully.

"Endearing? Since when did you learn that word?"

"Oi! Now, I hafta go! Bye!"

Tenten waved before eating another piece of dango. She watched his retreating figure and the sudden burst of curiosity led her to run back to her dorm room to read it.

What could it be?

* * *

><p>"This is genius, Naruto!" Tenten burst through the cafeteria doors the next day, completely ignoring the ogling students.<p>

Naruto was startled for a moment but then shined a great, big grin. "You like it?"

She slid in the seat across from him, not noticing the stares from his homeroom classmates sitting at the table also.

"Yes, this is completely great. Konoha has been so freaking dull, and this," she held up the papers to his view, "this will change that! Hehe, I'm so excited!"

Lee and Neji came to Naruto's table wondering what Tenten was talking about. They slid in next to her and she grinned at them.

"Can I show this to them Naruto?"

The blonde boy looked at Lee and his bushy eyebrows, then at Neji's blank face. Maybe Bushybrows would be excited about the idea, but Neji? He didn't want anybody to stop him.

He glanced at Sakura and Sasuke, who were staring at him with interested eyes. Uh oh, Sakura might also stop him. And Sasuke might revolt or kill someone. No, not yet, only when the idea is in effect.

Aw man! Maybe he should have given the papers to Tenten at Ichiraku's or something…

"Well ah…" he looked around at everybody's curious stares. "It's just…a…" he twiddled his fingers sheepishly.

Tenten caught his uncomfortable expression. Crap, maybe she shouldn't have blurted it.

"What is it, Naruto?" Sakura urged.

"It's just a blueprint for…a possible amusement park here in Konoha." Tenten cut in and lied, "Yeah! It's a surprise and Tsunade-sama gave it to Naruto…'cause…"

"'C-cause Granny Tsunade is giving me pointers for being a Hokage! …So…blueprints for an amusement park is really important!" Naruto went along suddenly.

The others blinked. "An amusement park? Really?"

Naruto and Tenten sighed with relief and then nodded. "Isn't it great?"

Neji reached for the papers. "Let's look at them-"

_**BOM!**_

Tenten suddenly smacked his hand down with hers.

"…"

"…"

Everybody stared in surprise.

Neji just stared at her incredulously.

Tenten scowled. "Oi! I said it was a surprise! Don't you ever listen?"

Neji almost glared back, and waited until she lifted her hand when she was sure she squished his hand a bit harder. "Then why were you given it?"

"…Well…"

Naruto and her blood drained. "S-she has knowledge of tools and weapons, Neji! The workers asked me to give it to her! So she can…decide which kind of tools they are to use…"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, but decided the whole matter was not worth it. "That is _totally _understandable," he said; his words drenched in sarcasm.

Sakura shrugged. "We'll know when it comes out. That is very exciting!" she smiled.

Lee nodded. "Hai with youth! Good luck to youthful Konoha workers!"

Neji just shrugged.

"Well then, let's eat." Naruto mumbled and ducked his head to hide his ecstatic grin.

Tenten noticed and closed her eyes. Her lips curved up sneakily; she absolutely couldn't wait!

* * *

><p>Naruto slurped his ramen noodles with his chopsticks and hummed happily. He sat in Ichiraku's, an outdoor eatery on-campus of their boarding school, waiting for Tenten to arrive with the papers.<p>

"'Sup."

He looked up and nodded at her. "Goof, goof, you're here! Wampf sum?" he spoke with a mouthful. The girl, with dark hair tied in twin buns, shook her head and plopped down. "Just ate; thanks. Now, tell me everything!" Tenten smoothed the papers as they both stared at the list.

Naruto swallowed his meal. "'Kay. This baby was found on the internet. My pen pal from America emailed me a chain letter with this." He wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

Tenten looked surprised, "You have a pen pal? From America?"

"Yep. I think his name is David…or was it Daniel? Oh I think it was Marvin!" he ignored her look, "Now, anyways, he explained that nobody would actually do this unless they were…crazy? So I thought, 'PERFECT'!" he yelled for effect.

Tenten tried to ignore the gawking passerby students, and rolled her eyes, "Keep your voice down, Naruto."

"As I was saying!" he crossed his arms proudly, "While we are still young, before we turn 16, let's accomplish all of this! And actually do it!"

"You mean before _you _turn 16." Tenten corrected.

"Ah, you're already 16...old lady."

"Oi!"

"Anyways! What do you think?"

"Hn." She narrowed her eyes at him and then grinned, "I agree! I need some excitement, at least, Shizune-sensei said, so let's get 'er done!"

"Aha! But we have to get started before telling everybody."

"Eh? Why?"

"Well," Naruto shrugged, "Do you think everybody would go through it at the beginning? They might even stop us."

"…I see your point. Hm," Tenten bit her cheek, "But…but can't we at least tell Lee and Neji? Its obvious Neji will question us about the blueprint stuff if we don't say something… And Lee will totally be game with all of this."

Naruto thought hard. He heard wind blow in his half empty brain. Ack!

"Fine! But only if Neji won't complain." He grinned.

"Ha, you better make sure he won't." Tenten smiled pleasantly and winked.

"Eh? I convince Neji? He's scary!" The blonde boy cringed.

The girl patted him on the arm. "You gotta! Neji's still annoyed about what happened in the cafeteria and won't talk to me!"

"Fine, fine, then you convince Lee, and I'll get Neji." They both nodded and Tenten ran off to do her part. Naruto happily ordered another scrumptious bowl of ramen. Hehehehe…

* * *

><p>"Neji! Yoohoo!" Naruto jogged to the other side of the boy's hall of the dormitory. Tenten had told him it was Boy's Building B, for second and third years.<p>

The blonde boy whistled; it sure was more spacey than their dorm, in Building C.

Taller, burly guys shoved each other around and a group huddled over to what looked like a colorful magazine, with…

"Oh my God! Is that Icha Icha Weekly? Where did you get this?" Naruto somehow penetrated into the group.

"A puny fox elf?"

"Dude! Get lost!"

"How'd you get in here?"

"Noogie time!"

"AUGH! HELP!"

Naruto made it out on time and ran away, shaking an angry fist before hiding in the supply closet. Hmph, they wouldn't have chased him way if they knew he wrote that one selection for the July issue, in place of his counselor, Jiraiya-sensei.

"Anyway…" Naruto opened the door a crack, and made sure the hall was clear. It was, and he ran out, heading to find Neji. He spotted long, silky, brown hair.

"Neji!"

The called out boy turned around and rose an eyebrow. "What are you doing here, Naruto?"

"Here. I believe you wanted to know."

Giving Naruto a narrowed look, Neji cautiously unfolded it and read slowly.

"It's a list…of _30 Fun Things to do_…"

* * *

><p>"…<em>In an Elevator<em>…of youth?" Lee read and directed his curious look at Tenten. She nodded fiercely and waited for his reaction. They walked around in the grassiest area of the school, football field, while heavy football players practiced yards away.

"So…no youthful amusement park…?"

"Yeah, sorry we lied, but Naruto didn't want to say anything about it yet."

"…" Lee focused back on the papers and silently read the list and mumbled along. Then he looked back at her, a new bright, light making way to his face.

"THIS IS SO YOUTHFULLY WONDERFUL! WHO KNEW SOMETHING SO UNBEARABLY YOUTFUL EXSISTED?" He shouted and giggled before skipping in place.

Tenten giggled along and grinned. "I know! I know!" she jumped along. "So you'll do it with us?"

"YOUTHFULLY, HAI!"

"Perfect! So now that leaves Neji. But don't say anything else to anybody, not until we start! Okay?"

"Youth tells me haii! Let's bid youthful good luck with Naruto!"

"Yes!"

* * *

><p>The hall was filled with rushing male students. Just a few feet away, Naruto and Neji stood; the blonde being the animated one during the conversation.<p>

"So, so? What do you think? Tenten convinced me to ask you guys before anybody else so you can't decline or stop us!"

Neji was bewildered as he read the list over and over again. These tasks were ridiculous! I mean, #9 and #25? These are all tasks only Naruto would do! And he couldn't comprehend the fact that Tenten agreed! Tenten! She can be the most reasonable one at times!

…That was a lot of exclamation points, beautiful man with even more beautiful hair, he thought. Get a hold of yourself.

"No."

"Eh? You can't Neji! Please, you hafta'!" the blonde pouted.

Neji shook his head firmly. "No, Naruto. We could get arrested!"

"_**Psh**_!" Naruto waved a hand at him, "Granny-sama would never even _consider_ arresting us! She'd be against her own self, being that she's the Mayor and principal! Besides, without this, you'll grow up a grouch as you already are!"

"Hn."

"I'm serious Neji," Naruto looked creepily serious, "This will be such a thrill, your girly hair particles and quiet demeanor wouldn't even encase control."

Neji had three things in his mind.

Since when the hell did Naruto learn those words?

It. Is. Not. Girly. It. Is. A. Hyuga. Male. TRADITION!

And _**NO.**_

"Gomen, Naruto. I will not. I'd rather waste my time _dating_."

"…" The blonde was silent. Whoa, Neji must really not want to do this with them. He never said the '_D_' word! Or even thought of it! Ever!

"…Now I realize you may be uncomfortable with this whole list, Neji," Neji scoffed, but let Naruto continue, "But…I'll make a deal coughbetcough with you."

"…Go on."

"But you have to agree beforehand!"

"What? No! I don't even know what you're going to make me do."

"That's the point! Just agree beforehand."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Aw, Yeeeeesssss!"

"Stop whining!"

"No!"

"Hn."

"Hm… Fine. How do you feel about dirty black mail?'

"I have nothing to hide."

"…I'll find something! I swear!"

"If agreeing would make you shut up…"

"Ha! Glad you understand." Naruto grinned, knowing that Neji knew he fell into his clutches. "Good. So now, come with us on the first day, and if you show a trace that you can't stand it, and back out, you gotta go on a date with Temari. And if you seem fine with it, then continue with us!"

"D-Date?" Neji's eyebrow twitched, "Is that my only choice?"

"No, you got two choices."

"…They are all in your favor..."

"_WHOA_ MAN! No wonder they call you a prodigy!"

"…"

"Okay! We leave after school at five o'clock. And you cannot tell anybody else yet! Thanks Neji! You're a doll! Toodle loo sweet cheeks!"

"…"

The pale eyed boy stared at Naruto's retreating, running, back with an unhinged jaw. Did…did that just really happen?

He heard a bird out the window cawing the word _idiot_.

Squeezing a squeaky rubber ducky he pulled out of his pocket, with appalling force, Neji breathed in and out*. Just do whatever it takes to not date. Absolutely anything.

Even if it kills him.

**CHAPTER 1 END**

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><p><strong>*Ever seen that one Drake and Josh episode? The one where that angry, screaming guy Josh works with at the theater has a rubber ducky he uses to calm down? Haha I laughed so hard XDDD If you have seen it, then imagine it like that lawlz. <strong>

**Author's Notes: Anyways, soooo I felt like posting this after reading an email of stuff to do in an elevator and came up with this awkward intro chapter XD I will have the whole list I'm going by so far up on my profile but PLEASE! Give me some suggestions that you might've made up that's story-writable because some of the things on the list leaves me a dead end...lol. **

**...And yes the main characters are Naruto and Tenten but be WARNED: THIS IS _NOT_ A ROMANCE OR PAIR FANFIC (nejiten ftw x])...SINCE IT'S AU HIGH SCHOOL LIKE, THERE WILL BE OBVIOUSLY IMPLIED ROMANCES AND STUFF LIKE THAT...MAYBE BUT ITS NOT CENTERED ON IT! THIS FIC IS PURELY JUST FOR FUN/CRACK (ALTHOUGH I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THAT XD) AND yes, humor, adventure, and friendship are the genres. Yesh x]**

**So hope you enjoyed, the story will flow along better for the next chapters (I have 9 done, so expect fairly moderately quick updates XD) and thanks all for reading!**

**Review with criticism, suggestions/ideas or anything of the like if you want. PEACE!**


	2. Chapter 2

****30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:****

**Disclaimer: **I don't own **_**NARUTO© **_**or Kishimoto's lovely characters**_**, **_**and the "STUFF or THINGS" to do in an elevator. Every one of them I don't own. OH, and elevators. Don't own that either.****

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: <strong>_Offer name tags to everybody and wear yours upside down._

Hyuga Neji sighed pitifully as he leaned his head back against his passenger seat car window. Naruto, that main blonde guy with whisker tattoos sat next to him by the other window; Tenten and Lee rode up front with the chocolate-eyed girl drumming her fingers against the steering wheel, calmly carousing Neji's impressive vehicle down the winding roads ahead.

"Okay, should we go to Konoha Airport first, or that tall business building by the park?" Tenten chirped, glancing in the rearview mirror and winked at Neji. He rolled his moony eyes and groaned. She was taunting him, and shoving 'you lose! We won!' all over his ego after she learned about his hard way of going through with all this ridiculousness.

"Ooh! Ooh! How about the youthful Hospital!" suggested a youth-eccentric guy, raising a pointer finger in the air and wiggling his enormous eyebrows in anticipation.

The girl with twin buns rolled her eyes. "You only want to go there because Haruno Sakura volunteers there."

Lee sheepishly blushed. "Sakura-chan of blooming youth!"

"Yeah, but today is not her shift, sniff… Hey, how about the plaza?" Naruto tilted his head.

Tenten nodded. "Yeah! Okay then, Konoha Plaza it is!"

Neji sighed again and scowled out the window. His reflection startled him, by illumining a scary smirk.

* * *

><p>"Ooh, this is rather nerve-racking." Tenten shivered and sheepishly nodded at Naruto.<p>

The blonde nodded furiously back, "But the fun is just about to begin!" he pumped his fist up.

"Oh! Youthful button pressing!" Lee squealed with delight before energetically poking his finger against the 'up' and 'down' button various times while giggling.

Then Tenten wiggled her eyebrows at Neji and smiled knowingly. "Today's gonna be interesting, huh?"

The long-haired boy scowled even deeper, with his bottom lip poking out. "Hn."

And with that, the elevator doors groaned open and the teens curiously peered inside.

"Oi, nobody is in here! That gives us more time."

"Perfect."

After a few seconds of settling in, they awkwardly twiddled their fingers; the elevator-rising feeling from the pits of their stomach slightly igniting their nervousness.

"D'ya have the name tags, Naruto?" Tenten glanced expectedly at him.

"Hai! Write your names and wear 'em like this!" Naruto showed them his name tag proudly, which was obediently and improperly stuck on his chest upside down.

The teens passed around a silver and a hot pink sharpie. Neji ended up using the pink sharpie to write his name.

"Hehe," Lee poked the sulking boy, "I did not youthfully know you liked happy colors of youth, my youthful eternal rival!"

"Hn!" Neji sharply gruntedback jerking his head at Lee to intimidate him.

Lee just waved him off and focused on what Tenten was staring at. "Is that youthful looking thing the emergency button?"

The brown eyed girl stared harder and mumbled, "Well it's red…and it says 'Do Not Press Unless Emergency'. Could be…" just as the elevator doors opened and revealed a chatting couple, and three store clerks.

Naruto grimaced. The store clerks of the Plaza. They could get them in trouble.

Everybody gulped as the expecting people squeezed in.

_Doo doo dum dee, dada da dum…_ the agonizing elevator music droned on and made time thick and unbearable and heavy and gooey and-

"THIS IS TAKING **FOREVER**." Tenten blurted while shaking a fist at the ceiling, causing the others to flinch and back away.

* * *

><p><em><strong>5 seconds later…<strong>_

* * *

><p>Neji remembered the bet, and tried to look pleasant when his eyes met Naruto's. The blonde wiggled his eyebrows threateningly.<p>

_Don't mess up…OR IT'S DATING TIME WITH TEMARI, HEYY!_

Neji's lip was secretly bitten in anguish as he recalled his childhood memories and tried to link them little by little to somehow explain how he ended up here, being forced to date once and for all, and in a bet with both sides repelling Neji's will. Why was everyone pressuring him! He has limitations and physical boundaries just like any other teenager out there… He'll go to the next step when he's _READY_ **DAMN** **IT**!

"Hey Neji…I can see that your eyebrow is desperately trying to twitch."

Neji gulped and tried to grin –which unexpectedly came up looking like this: 8D – and slowly turned to Tenten, "What makes you say that?"

Naruto and Tenten and Lee shared a sneaky glance at each other. Neji just wanted some rabid birds to peck through the elevator cabin and transport him back to his safe, white, dorm room NOW.

"Everything," Tenten retorted. She saw the pissed off look on Neji's face and wondered if she should let this go, since she is Neji's only sane best friend.

BUT THIS SO MUCH MORE FUN!

"Remember. If you faaaillll, Naruto, Lee and I will personally travel to Suna and kidnap Gaara's sister. You should be thankful that we're willing to do all that taxing labor! And I mean taxing literally, the gas prices these days, not to mention a parking fee and can you believe, Neji, that the taxes for our favorite giant KONA-Slushies™ rose up for a grand total of ¥377 (**$3.75**)! It's insane!"

"…"

"Yes, my youthful friend, it's such a shame Tenten, my favorite youthful choice was sweet succulent cherry, because, fufufu, it reminded me of this sweet youthful dream love of mine! Anyhow, youthful eternal rival Neji-kun! Together with our youth, we shall also toil in labor with you in this youth-mighty scheme! For our youthful hearts are ONE!"

"…What they both said, dattebayo!"

"…ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, FOR THE LOVE OF HIASHI-SAMA'S DAMN RED SLIPPERS, THERE, I'M GRINNING. HAPPY?"

The others' eyes couldn't possibly widen any further, nor be so speechless and half-dead than at that moment.

And the other already mentally disturbed occupants in the elevator couldn't have picked a better time than to scram.

But the doors did not give in.

Neji just continued in half-mild irritation, other half-mild sadist satisfaction and grabbed the name-tag stickers and sharpies from his "friends" slack hands and wondered where his acting skills have been this whole time, "HERE. AS APPRECIATION OF ACCOMPYNING US IN THIS FATEFUL ELEVATOR CABIN ON THIS STUPID CLOUDY DAY, FILL OUT YOUR NAMES AND LETS GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER."

"WHOOO, there you go, my youthful eternal rival! LET THE FOUNTAINS AND GEYSERS OF YOUR INNER SPRINGTIME YOUTH AND FRIENDSHIP SOCIALIZING URGES BLAST OUT AND GLITTER ENCHANTLY!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>2 questionable minutes later…<strong>_

* * *

><p>By now all the other passengers had placed the name tags on their chest and were muttering in polite greeting with each other now and then raising an eyebrow at the teens' upside down name-tags.<p>

Well, everything seemed to have worked out, despite the angry way it was done in.

"Stop complaining, at least I did it, and _I_, Hyuga Neji, the clan's prized prodigy, nephew of Hyuga Hiashi, son of his deceased twin Hyuga Hizashi, will NEVER ever back out from a –forced on- task."

Tenten by then was scowling in annoyance and patted indignant Neji's shoulder and already agreed with Naruto that they would never force a bet with Neji again.

"Why is your intro so long…?"

"Hn."

The elevator dinged open, startling the teens.

After those looonnng 3.45 minutes together, you'd think they'd hug and laugh their farewells with the other occupants but instead they all rushed out leaving the teens alone on the empty elevator cabin to unwillingly reflect on how to _not_ cause another unmentionable scene.

But, in that one minute they did, the elevator dinged open again and a young couple totally enamored entered and giggled amongst themselves.

Naruto snatched back the nametags and sharpies from Neji, and broke the silence.

"Um, here are nametags!"

Tenten, Lee and Neji watched in anticipation as the couple blinked at Naruto and warmly complied.

The nervousness dissipated from the teens and they excitedly checked out their names.

They read '_Ken'_, and '_Barbie'_.

Both in pink.

The giggling couple held hands and whispered in each other's ears. Naruto made a silent gagging expression while Lee and Tenten stared longingly, 'cause come on, what kind of girl and Rock Lee wouldn't want love? Neji, however, facing one of the walls, decided to pinch his face in a disturbing, outlying smile.

"So uh…how long are you guys together?" The whiskered blonde stared intently at the couple, trying to make a conversation and ignore the strange aura creeping from Neji's direction.

The couple glanced at Naruto and the girl spoke up, "Oh, for 5 days. We met 6 days ago and look!" she squealed while wiggling her fingers and showing off her hand. "We're engaged!"

Everybody ogled at the sparkly diamond ring with a gold band and studded silver disks. Very fancy.

"Hai," the boy grinned broadly, "The wedding is the day after tomorrow."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…youth…"

"GOOD GAWD. What's wrong with you guys?" Tenten looked aghast. "You just met!"

"So? It was soul-mate love at first sight, right sweet-cheeks?" the young woman replied, just as cheery giving her lover an affectionate smile.

The young man smiled broadly back at her, "Yes, my wittle muffin-wuffin."

"Oh for the love of fate…" Neji rolled his eyes and muttered, breaking from his strange demeanor.

"Awww pet names," Tenten tried to smile without lifting a nostril in a disturbed manner.

"Hey, Tenten's pet name could be Bun Bun, dattebayo!"

"WHAT?"

"Well, you looked jealous, dattebayo!"

"Hn. Naruto, you better not say tha-"

"That's right, Tenten of youth! We shall name you Bun Bun and you shall be our youthful Bun Bun!"

Tenten's eyes suddenly darkened and her bangs seemed to stick up as if struck by static, and Neji gulped as she did her rare, but crazy lip snarl that never ceased to freak him out.

"**You guys wanna die**?" Tenten darkly poised and she advanced toward them.

"H-hn…!"

"I think I just crapped mah-self…"

"Oh lord of youth…"

"Hold me, Barbie!"

"Oh grow up, Ken!"

* * *

><p>Later that day, the cerulean eye colored boy rested his face against his palm; resting his weight on his elbow on the green grass at the public park. Neji napped, leaning his head against a large tree behind him. The monstrous eye-browed boy had other youthful affairs to attend to.<p>

"You know Tenten; this whole idea of elevator pranks isn't so bad! Well except Neji's bet, and his reaction, and Ken and Barbie…and Lee and I giving you friendly suggestions for possible nicknames…ahem."

"Huh. That's a lot…"

"But think of the next tasks, Tenten! I'm so thrilled and excited but maybe somebody might kill us..."

Said girl sat crisscrossed, basking in the shade of the cool air. The brown haired girl's cheek expanded from the dango she was eating. Chewing thoughtfully, while playing with her bangs, Tenten snorted. "You, of all people come up with murder as a worry factor? Don't worry about it, we might get arrested and tortured, but murdered? Get outta here."

"I don't know…"

"Psh. Come on, Naruto. You of all people should be the one encouraging us and saying that line that always confuses me. Battecayo? Or was it Cackapayo?"

"It's _Dattebayo_!"

"Whatever."

"Well…I guess you're right... Yeah! Tomorrow we go with everything we got! And courage! Obviously our pranks aren't welcome."

"Duh, you think?"

"Sometimes. Especially at night; that's when I try to figure out my lost childhood."

Tenten wanted to slap her forehead. Or maybe his forehead…

Naruto licked his lips in thought, "As I was saying…why don't we wear disguises?"

"Disguises?"

"Yeah! …Like black masks with…potato sacks!"

"Huh? You idiot!" Tenten looked shocked, "Then we'll look like robbers! That's even worse!"

"…You really think so?"

"Ugh."

"Fine! Then, you get a fake mustache, and I'll get a pink wig. Neji doesn't need anything but makeup; he could immediately be taken for a girl!"

Neji twitched again in his nap.

"Ha, exactly! But a mustache? And a pink wig?"

"What? Pink hair isn't common to you? Look at Sakura-chan! LOOK. AT. GORGEOUS. SAKURA. CHAN."

"…?"

"…Oh haha, lost myself there, pfeeheehee…"

"…Yeah… I'll use the mustache disguise...for a few of the tasks." Tenten guarded herself unless Naruto lashed out again. Eeek…bizarre in a frightening way.

The blonde grinned, "Good! How about a Charlie Chaplin mustache?"

"…You think it'll look good?"

"Sure! Or how 'bout a goatee?"

"Yuck! I'll stick with classic Charlie." Tenten chewed happily.

"Cool. Then how about Lee?" Naruto tried to picture Lee without those thick eyebrows.

…Whoa, the brows do wonders!

"Uh, how about in normal clothes?"

"Hmmm... Oh! He could be a suit-wearing gangster!"

Tenten raised a nostril, surprised, "A suit-wearing gangster? That's even worse than the stupid black masks and potato sacks idea, stuuupiid!"

"How rude! Then how about a hippie?"

"…That I like."

"Shweet. We are so ready," Naruto sanded his hands together and grinned excitedly.

Tenten giggled along and used the pink sharpie to draw a little heart on Neji's bandaged forehead. Naruto gasped at this.

The girl smirked. "Perfect. For tomorrow, we need Neji to have a little attitude for his disguise. Heh."

And with that, Neji dreamt of the same lines, but in a scarier setting. In a man eating elevator.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

**Hello readers.**

**Anyhooot, okay when I said "You can review if you wannntt blah blah blah…" I just realized that like any other author on this lovely site we have here, we live on reviews like how I live on ice cream.**

**I eat a lot…**

**Missy's random/not present Friends: Too much if you ask me! HI ! Wait was is this site about...? Is it like Facebook or something?**

**Suuu, if the presence of this story is not troubling you, feel free to give me some feedback on whether I totally butchered the first "What to do in an Elevator" chapter in action or if I made it somewhat satisfying; your opinions :D And of course, if you got any suggestions to add on this currently pending list from my profile page that is writeable, SEND ME A PM/REVIEW THINGY x)**


	3. Chapter 3

**30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**NARUTO©,**_** Kishimoto's lovely characters, any of the STUFF or THINGS to do in an elevator, don't own elevators... or fake spiders...cell phone brands...you get the drift. I only own the story plot around the **_**THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: <strong>_Throw a fake spider on the ground and squeal with terror._

Aburame Shino stared with an annoyed expression at the pleading, older girl. "You instantly come to me for a fake spider, just because my interest is in bugs?"

Tenten nodded innocently. "Duh, bug boy."

"And with that, you are definitely declined."

"What? No! I'm sorry! Please let me borrow one!"

"No."

"Aw, come on! What will make you lend me a fake spider?"

"…Say sama."

"What? No!"

"Then your offer is declined. Have a good day and please never come back again."

"Eh! Fine…Shino…_sama_."

"…Say it again."

"Egh? You creep!"

* * *

><p>Naruto patted a short, pink wig on his scalp, admiring his reflection from the mirror. Not bad, Uzumaki, not bad.<p>

"Dobe-" Uchiha Sasuke barged in their dorm room.

"Ack!" The pink wig was stuffed furiously in the blonde's pants. "Don't you ever knock!"

"-where is... It's my room too… What in the…?"

"I-I-I-I-I-It's just for an experiment!"

"…"

"…!"

"…Yeah… Oi. Give me back my CD."

Naruto turned his back to the handsome boy and yanked the wig out from his jeans. "W-What CD?" he asked, still shaken.

"My mix. I need it." Sasuke sighed and lay on his bed, covered with a comfy royal blue comforter.

Naruto cleared his throat and crossed his arms, standing over Sasuke. "Aw, why now? I just can't stop listening to Caramelldansen! I'm surprised you even put that on there!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "That wasn't me; it was you, you idiot."

"Ah…right. Ha, Sasuke-chan's CD has Caramelldansen!"

"…"

"God. You have no humor. Now stop eye-cussing at me!"

* * *

><p>Sakura tapped her foot as she barely advanced in the line with her lunch tray in the cafeteria. By the time she reaches the cafeteria lady, she'll be, like, 80.<p>

But something else was distracting her. The fact that way later tonight, she'd finally be with Sasuke-kun! Alone! After years of staring at him adoringly, and longingly, Sasuke-kun finally asked for her study notes!

Coyly, she twirled the rosy pink hair tucked behind her ear around her finger.

But Sasuke-kun is a prodigy! What in the world is he doing, asking for her notes?

Oh, hehehe. He _loves _her. That's what. He's _smitten_. Rhymes with kitten.

The person behind her stared wearily as she giggled pitches higher than normal for a 15 year old girl.

"Now what do I wear?"

"Hey, look out!"

Sakura was startled by a loud female voice when a big, huge fuzzy thing suddenly appeared on the ground in front of her line.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

Girls fled for their lives and boys even looked horrified.

Sakura screeched shrilly at the tarantula sitting there, and on instinct, she raised her leg, and slammed her foot on it with all of her love for Uchiha Sasuke-kun.

Girls fainted and boys covered their mouths, and watched to see if the spider's insides were anywhere to be seen.

_PLONK!_

But instead, the "tarantula" just brokenly shot out in half like a rubber toy, due to the brutal force from the instinctive girl.

Before Sakura could instantly regret on what she just did, the thought of the spider being splattered on her shoe or somehow getting back together and eating her foot and working it's way up to eating her head, making her almost gag instantly and faint, she noticed that the "tarantula" was in fact, a rubber toy.

"…"

Nobody said a word. The whole cafeteria was silent. Except for the splat of Mac and cheese falling into someone's dish. Sakura's jaw dropped and a huge boulder inside her melted with relief. But where did the fake spider come from?

* * *

><p>"Dude," Naruto caught up with Neji and Tenten, who were walking to their last class for the day. "Did you guys hear about the spider incident in the cafeteria? Sakura-chan squished it! 'Cept it was fake. Everybody's talking about it!"<p>

Neji shrugged. He heard some kids talking about it, but spiders weren't his thing.

Tenten though, grinned innocently. "Did it cause a riot?"

"Pretty much!"

"Okay then! Test complete. Now, I hope Shino would give me another one…"

Neji glanced at her, "Was that spider in the cafeteria yours?"

"Yes. It was fo-"

"THAT WAS YOU?" Naruto blurted.

Neji and Tenten grimaced at the loud, unexpected noise. "Hai! That was Shino's but before we go to the elevator, I just had to try it out here," she smirked broadly. Then she grimaced again, "Though, I didn't think that Sakura chick would seriously break it like that…the girl's got insane strength."

The blonde blinked hungrily, "Oh yeah, she's a goddess! She broke my arm once when I snuck up behind her in a haunted corn maze at last year's field trip. It was so awesome…"

Neji and Tenten backed away from the drooling boy.

"Anyways," Tenten continued with amusement, "We'll see you at the school front, Naruto!"

Naruto snapped from his dream state, wiped his mouth, nodded and waved, "See you then, bye! You better come, Neji!"

"Hn."

"Bye!"

After the blonde disappeared, Neji crossed his arms, as the duo continued walking. "Do I still have to participate in that…?"

Tenten blinked in surprise and finished his sentence, "The elevator thing? Well, Naruto and Lee said that you were cornered to do it whether you liked it or not but to me you don't have to if you don't want to…" she pursed her lips and shined her eyes in humbleness at him.

Neji raised his eyebrow slightly in annoyance and sighed. "What is this, reverse psychology?"

"Well Neji, I just want you to know that I respect your decisions and how you feel towards us...but do we receive the same from you...? NO."

"Sigh… Tenten, I hope you realize that Hyugas don't give in that easily."

"And Neji, I hope you realize that weapon mistresses are fantastic negotiators, especially when negotiating with our famous props..." she smirked giddily.

The pearly-eyed prodigy rolled his eyes; as if Tenten negotiating with her many_ props_ would induce him to give in. But, its not like he is always busy since he rarely needs to study and Cross Country is not in season anyways...so he might as well...

"…Sigh fine, fine. I suppose I can accompany you guys with…that… But I won't like it."

Tenten triumphantly pumped a fist in the air and repeatedly patted Neji's shoulder on the back in excitement and distraction. "YAY! Of course, of course, Hyuga. Now that we took care of that, I need another spider, aahhh but he was so unwilling the first time!"

"If he finds out what happened to the first one, what makes you think Shino will give you another fake spider?"

"Hmmm… If I say _Shino-sama_ again, he will."

"…_Sama_?"

"I know…"

"That's…weird. And…creepy…"

"Pft."

"Hn."

"…?"

"…Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Could you get the spider for me this time? Shino would say yes to you!"

"Why would he?"

"'Cause if he didn't, you'd threaten him to do that pokey thing you do to Lee and I whenever we piss you off."

"Sigh, Tenten. This is the last time I'm telling you; it's not a 'poke', I lock your nerve points so you can't use your arms to_ hit_ me. As for Lee, you understand the frustration when he tries makes us wear that ridiculous spandex!"

"Sigh, Neji. And I'll tell you this the last time also; I'm not _hitting_ you, it's called 'friendly' _patting_!"

"Hn."

"Why must we stray from the point of our conversations? Neji! The spider! When we meet for the elevator stuff, I don't want to have to say 'Where be the fake spider, Hyuga-kun?' And then beat you up."

Neji rolled his eyes; like she's capable of defeating the undefeatable Hyuga prodigy with great hair, "Hn." He agreed rather reluctantly.

"Wonderful, now don't get a wimpy one; a big, fat, hairy one shall do. I almost convulsed when I held the first spider. It looked so real!"

"Hn."

"Sigh."

"Spider."

"Eh? WHERE?"

"…Why don't you scream like a normal person?"

"Neji! I'll scream when I see it! Don't get me freaked out!"

"Hnnn…"

* * *

><p>A man in his mid 30's excessively checked his watch. Five more minutes, and he'll be late for the most important meeting in his whole career. No, more like his whole <em><strong>liiiife<strong>_!

Suddenly, the elevator door dinged open to floor 21.

Finally. He rushed out, past tie dye, pink hair, an angry girl, and another girl he thought to be growing a mustache.

"…"

Naruto tucked his stubborn, blonde locks under the tight, florescent pink wig. He glanced around embarrassedly, as the man who rushed past them, stopped and gave them all a stern once over.

Cough…

Lee cleared his throat, and flashed a stoned peace sign at everybody squished in the elevator. He held a small, mysterious box, with a thin dish towel over it.

Some people craned their necks to a girl with twin hair buns, and a short, squarish hairy thing above her lip.

Was she growing a mustache?

Neji, who had only blush on, fooled some men who gazed at his hair.

Tenten, noticing they had mistaken his gender for the 57th time again, giggled to herself.

The business men and women shared dubious glances; the strange new occupants definitely did not fit in with all the businessmen and women, but the elevator ride stayed heavy and silent.

Lee was keeping a little, helpful, youthful secret. Or so he youthfully thought. He came to Shino for a youthful spider. He read the youthful list, and decided to surprise Naruto, Tenten, and Neji with his thoughtfulness filled with glorious youth.

Glancing youthfully at them, he caught Naruto's eye. Naruto wiggled his eyebrows in anticipation.

Ah, that must mean it is youthfully almost time.

Naruto then looked at Tenten, who received another fake spider, similar to the first, from Neji who got it from Shino. She kept the frightening rubber arachnid in her "weapon" pouch.

If the school found out about her keeping actual old weapons at the school, obviously she'd be reprimanded.

Ha, suckers.

"Tenten, who is filled with glorious youth," Lee leaned over and whispered with part of his light tan, afro wig falling over his large eyebrows and eyes.

The girl with the Charlie Chaplin mustache leaned to him, "What?" she whispered back.

"Is it time to unveil our most brilliant youthful task yet?"

The other occupants momentarily looked at them, then sighed and busied themselves with their Blackberries and Palm Pilots.

"Almost. When you see the signal, which is..."

Tenten looked over at Neji, but he just had his eyes closed. She noticed a vein sticking out of his forehead.

Well somebody's a little cranky hoe!

"I. _Heard_. **That**."

"..."

"…"

"…Hi."

Naruto wanted to laugh really hard, just to break the tension. He really needed his fix of ramen. Bad.

Tenten tugged Lee's tie-dyed sleeve and lowered her voice. "Okay, the signal is Neji's next eye twitch. Ah, never mind, the one after that. No, the one after that. Wait, after that one- Ugh, damn it _Neji_! Stop it!"

"Hn."

"Ah, gotcha, my youthful comrade, Tenten!" Lee youthfully winked.

The teens straightened up and the elevator dinged. Some left, and many entered in. The gang were squished in and separated. Naruto stood on his toes, straining his neck above a man's shoulder to see Neji's eye twitching signal.

Tenten was up against the elevator handles, and her back was starting to ache. The lady in front of her didn't smell so transparent either. Her nose was starting to tingle from all the douses of heavily sprayed perfume in front of her.

Neji just stood crossing his arms, and glared fiercely at the back of a man's head in front of him who was looking at himself in the mirror, and "discreetly" inching the mirror to check out Neji's "beautiful" face.

Lee stared intently, oddly having free space in a corner. He saw a little movement below Neji's eye. Ah! There goes the signal!

Lee looked down at his little, covered box and went to work.

The others though, didn't notice the signal.

Too bad Neji, Naruto and Tenten didn't consult with Lee's youthful thoughtfulness first.

* * *

><p><em><strong>16 seemingly innocent seconds later…<strong>_

* * *

><p>Naruto trailed his blue eyes again and spotted Neji. Tenten's eyes landed on the same person, and they both waited.<p>

Neji tried to ignore the fact that he was being used for a command signal, and their annoying stares.

He means, give him a break! Putting on blush was a harsh blow to his pride. He's had many troubles in his life. His childhood…his deceased father…going into puberty…the pressure with '_dating_'...

Oh, and don't even get him started on the 7th grade science fair!

_Twitchy twitch_.

There goes the signal!

Tenten nervously glanced at Naruto. Their eyes met and he nodded bravely: t'was time.

The girl took a deep breath, the mustache now starting to bother her upper lip, and discretely grabbed the spider out of her pouch. It hid completely in her hands, and she swallowed hard; it looked so real, she couldn't bear to look at it.

It was then she noticed something fuzzy and light doo-doo brown, on a man's briefcase, located 4 feet away from her.

Bringing her head down a little, she squinted, scrutinizing that…_thing_.

A long, fuzzy finger thing suddenly moved and then 7 more were starting to bring themselves up the case.

…

Tenten's blood ran cold, and she couldn't find her voice. Her heart pounded, thumping sharply against her chest. The fake spider dropped at her feet, long forgotten.

Naruto and Neji noticed nothing was happening and they tried to spot Tenten.

Lee tried to seek the others, and was youthfully waiting for the commotion. Ooh, in just youthful seconds, the whole elevator will be in a youthful uproar, and he will have all the youthful glory!

"Pst! Tenten!" Naruto craned his neck. He spotted brown hair buns.

The other occupants tapped their shoes and nobody seemed to notice the 8 inch Goliath bird-eating***** tarantula sitting peacefully on a man's briefcase.

**Yet.**

Tenten slowly looked up and her face was tight. She met Naruto's eyes again and her eyes broadened in sheer panic.

But Naruto couldn't understand.

Neji though, knew something was wrong. Tenten just shook her head, her lips tightly against each other.

Suddenly…

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!**"

"**WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!**"

"**EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!**"

Women and men were scrambling against each other and all backing up against the walls and shrieking blood-curdling cries as if they were burning to death. The man with the tarantula on his briefcase dropped the luggage against the elevator doors and backed up and shrieked with the others.

Naruto's mouth dropped and his face turned white, as he saw all those fuzzy long legs; the spider staring at him with all those tiny, hair-raising, beady eyes…

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" he shrieked.

Lee took his youthful friend's reaction as youthfully good news. The spider was supposed to be youthfully scary, so it did its youthful job! Yay with youth!

Neji's eyes widened ignorantly, and he faced the corner to try to find his happy place.

The women who did not faint had tears in their eyes and shrieked at the men to KILL IT! _**KIIIILLLLLLL ITTTT!**_

The teens, with the exception of Lee, in the back of their minds while they all panicked, wondered how a real one got here. Was it somehow connected to them? Or did someone else bring it?

The elevator dinged open, and the briefcase tipped over to the outside. The people expecting to enter took one look at the spider, shrieked and ran off.

The people inside all shouted for help, since not one of them was brave enough to kick the briefcase away, for fear of that eight legged _thing_ jumping on them and biting and devouring their flesh, pissed off.

Tenten felt fresh tears in her eyes, and she tried to make a plan with one of the weapons she had in her pouch. But her plan-making instantly averted when the spider crawled around the briefcase; those legs moving like an ancient rowboat. She shivered and soundlessly screamed, horrified.

Lee though, glanced at Tenten, and grinned expectedly at her. Praise him! Praise him!

She just looked confused as her face was losing color.

Naruto was still white and his knees were shaking. What if that spider crawled over to them, ate them all...**WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE'RE GONNA DIEEEE!**

Neji counted birds and named each one, to calm himself down. Goodbye little Kuku. Oh and don't get eaten, 'kay thanks bye.

The elevator closed its doors but the briefcase stood in between and did not let it fully close.

Everybody huddled against the walls, all petrified, until a young boy holding his mother's hand glanced in shock over at the commotion. The mother followed her son's gaze and caught sight of that _thing_, and she yelped. She yanked his arm away with her but the boy, being extremely fascinated, pulled free from her frightened grasp.

His dark, big, innocent eyes silenced the others, and he looked down. The spider sat there, and the boy crinkled his nose. Then the unthinkable happened.

The boy sat on his knees and cooed to the spider.

Tenten slammed her head back on the wall and clasped her hands over her eyes.

Naruto fainted sloppily on Neji.

Lee kneeled down with the boy and explained like a trained zoologist professional all about the spider.

Neji pushed Naruto off, who knocked into some random folks but they too were already fainted and so they became a heap of neglected bodies, looked to the front and he saw Lee with a boy with odd familiarity towards the arachnid. That _thing_.

Then everything clicked.

* * *

><p><em><strong>4 suspicious minutes later...<strong>_

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!<strong>_"

"…I youthfully contemplate that your youthful outburst isn't any of youthful praise?"

* * *

><p><strong>*I dare ya to look it up on Google images. I dare you.<strong>

**Author's Notes:**

**Well, I hate spiders with a passion. They're the only creatures on the planet that will either make me cry if I stare at it too long or get some random weapon nearby (usually a bottle of perfume or my parents) and scream and use the weapons to spray/beat the daylights out of. I don't know why they freak me out so much, they just do XD**

**Suuuu for those of you faint-hearted or at least disturbed folks, I hope you can relate to the characters' reaction in some way. I mean, being in a 5ft x 6ft crowded elevator cabin with that freaky thing on the ground where you might only catch glimpses of and never realize if it relocated around the elevator and bite you on the foot D:? Yeah, cool story bro.**

**Or maybe you're just ninja like the little boy and youthful Lee, then thumbs up for guys XD!**

**And don't worry people, by chapter 5 or 6 there will be new introduced characters to do all these crazy things and the story will be growing slowly XD Also, before half-way through I plan to include the Akatsuki, or at least the earlier Shippuden chapters of them...I love you Deidara and Itachi...**

**Review please :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**30 Fun Things to Do In an Elevator:**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own **_**NARUTO©,**_** Kishimoto's lovely characters, ********elevators, the music, ********any of the STUFF or THINGS to do in an elevator or Kiew Kit Wong's book. Enjoy! ****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4:<strong>_ Do Tai Chi exercises_

Uzumaki Naruto belly-flopped face down on his bed, covered with a fluffy, orange comforter. After 4 yummy bowls of ramen for dinner, he tried with all his Dattebayo-ness that seeing a live tarantula within 2 feet away from him _never _happened.

"Uhhhhh…"

The door slammed open.

"Uhhhhh…"

Then he heard some rustling, followed with a satisfying jump on the bed.

The blonde lifted his head to the side and faced Uchiha Sasuke. "You would not _believe _what happened today!"

"…Hn."

"Awww you're no fun…" Naruto pouted but then asked, "Suuu… What did'ja do this evening?"

Questioned boy peeked at him with one eye under his eyelashes, face down on his own bed also. "I was studying with…a classmate."

At this, Naruto sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, and then shook it because he saw the upper classmen doing the same thing. What? It looked cool!

"O.M.G, Sasuke-chan! With who?" he chirped excitedly.

Sasuke scowled in annoyance for a second before hiding his face in the covers. He shrugged, "_Whom,_ idiot. Someone. Now leave me alone."

"Oi! A boy? A _giiiirlll!_ Tell me! Tell me! I can't believe you were on a date!"

The handsome boy showed his face once more and raised an eyebrow, "I wasn't on a date."

"But you were with _someone_ right?"

"…"

"What? Why won't you tell me?"

"I have no obligation to."

"You're my best friend!"

"No obligation."

"That doesn't get a reason?"

"No."

"Aw, you suck, ya hoe!"

"…"

"You _realllllly_ have no humor! Quit eye cussing at me!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>The next day…<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Now," Rock Lee instructed, and stretched his muscled arms up above his head, "be a youthful crane. Feel the supremacy of youth calming your veins! Come on still youthful older folks! <strong>FEEL YOUR INNER SPRINGTIME YOUTH<strong>!"

Some elevator occupants grunted, breaking sweat, and others showed off their "still" youthful flexibility. They ranged from different middle ages, dressed in spiffy business suits and tight dress shoes. Among them were a handful of teens dressed in sweats and colorful headbands.

And then there were two eye-shocking green spandexes…one of them dressed on Maito Gai.

"There you go youthful Naruto! Bend down, so that your youthful thigh muscles SCREAM IN THE PAIN OF YOUTH!"

Groans and muttered protests filled the elevator in action.

"LEE! YOU ARE MOST WONDERFUL FOR THIS YOUTHFULNESS YOU SEEM TO GLISTEN WITH!"

"I-I YOUTHFULLY THANK YOU, YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI! –hiccup-" Lee cried mini rivers.

_Ding!_ went the elevator and 4 new occupants stared with unhinged jaws.

Bruce Lee look-alike turned around and grinned, with a _ping_ sparkle. "Join us, you folks that can still have your long forgotten youth!"

They scrammed, and the elevator door closed on them.

"...What an unyouthful outrage… CONTINUE ON WITH YOUTH!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>3 Hours Prior…<strong>_

* * *

><p>Two students trailed around the courtyard outside in their campus during free period. Wind blew quietly, as if knowing not to disturb the conflict below.<p>

"I'm youthfully sorry!"

"…"

"I'm youthfully sorry!"

"…"

"I'm youthfully sorry!"

"…"

"I'M YOUTHFULLY SORRY WITH ALL THE YOUTHFULNESS I HAVEEE-"

"LEE!"

"YOUTHFULLY FORGIVE ME, TENTEN OF YOUTH!"

"I **ALREADY** _DID_!"

"...Is that youthfully so?"

"Sigh."

"Then why won't youthful you speak to I of youth!"

"'Cause every time I look at you, I see that…that _thing_ –tear-!"

"You mean youthful Luis?"

"...It has a name?"

Lee nodded earnestly. "Hai, youthful Shino told me to youthfully coo to him every few youthful minutes. He says youthful Luis can get very unyouthfully lonely. With all those bugs of youth he keeps, he hardly has so much youthful time with Luis!"

Tenten turned blue and scowled in the other direction. No tarantula with all those nasty looking, hairy legs should be given a name. Luis, of all things.

"You're lucky Neji only locked your nerve points for just 4 classes and lunch. He _hates_ bugs. Especially that _thing_."

"Ah, so unyouthful of him! It was an extremely youthful challenge trying to walk around, but alas! With all my youthful limping glory, and a numb wrist, I MADE IT WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH! GAI-SENSEI WILL SURELY BE EXQUISTELY, _YOUTHFULLY_ **PROUD**!"

"M-my ears…!"

"Yes, youthful Tenten?"

"Hum? WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

"…Oh mother nature that youthfully bestowed this world with glorious youth…not again…"

* * *

><p><em>What the hell is 'Tai Chi'? Like ninja or something?<em>

Naruto tightened the bands from a borrowed trench coat hood tighter around his face and readjusted his big, black sun glasses. Nobody shall know his whereabouts right now. If so, thus ends the awesome un-nerdy Dattebayo-ness of Uzumaki Naruto.

He stalked around the silent school library halls, trying to find something on Tai Chi for the elevator list for today. He was hoping a book on it would have fighting moves and cool action scenes in it. If they were supposed to act like ninjas in an elevator, that would be his 6 bowls of ramen, fo sho.

Meandering around students and the maze like halls, he tumbled unto the desired section. He noticed a short girl with plum-like hair intently searching just a few feet away from him. Hadn't he seen her before…?

Shrugging, he ran his fingers over all the different books and muttered authors' last names to himself, "VHU...VUA...WHU...WON!" he chirped a little louder.

The girl looked to her right, startled. She saw a person with a huge, tan trench coat clumsily plucking a book from the second highest shelf and opening it, before it fell. They boy whined childishly, and picked it back up again. He looked around and caught her blinking stare.

For a second they stared at each other, until Hyuga Hinata blushed and broke her gaze away, her hands covering a girlish, delicate gasp. Even with those glasses and the large hood, she noticed the all too familiar whisker marks on the boy's cheek. The boy she secretly was enamored with.

Naruto blinked and scratched his head. Oh yes, she was very familiar. A shy girl like that was in his gym, Chemistry, and Health class.

But she didn't like him. Whenever he greeted her, she gasped in horror and ran, surprisingly quick, in the other direction!

He sulked a little; he thought he was a likeable, friendly guy!

Suddenly a volunteer librarian assistant popped up behind Naruto and chirped discreetly, "Do you need help finding anything?"

Naruto jumped and shook his head, "I-I'm fine!"

"Ah, you're reading about Tai Chi. It's such a wonderful tranquilizer," the assistant smiled pleasantly and readjusted his squarish glasses.

Naruto's attention was soon grabbed, "Tranquilizer? Tai Chi isn't fighting?"

"Not exactly… If you read that book, you'll find out that Tai Chi, also known as _T'ai Chi Ch'uan_, is made up of Chinese martial arts and the system of calisthenics; they are gymnastic exercises to achieve grace, and fitness." He finished proudly. He knew most of these books as he knew Trigonometry. And he was _hot_ with Trigonometry! Pufufufu…

Nerd.

Naruto, finding the right words, just spoke, "…So…basically…ninja yoga?"

"…I don't think so-"

"Ah well! Thanks for your help! It's gonna be very useful, dattebayo!"

The assistant just blinked as Naruto ran and almost dominoe-ed all the students in the library. He shook his head. That weird, shady boy left the book anyways.

It was then he felt a piercing stare behind his back. Slowly, the assistant turned around to reveal a shy girl tottering up to him.

"U-Uh…m-m-m-may I h-have that b-b-book?" she quivered, but her white-lavender eyes widened simultaneously.

"…!" the assistant sweat dropped and placed the book in her hands, "Here."

Hinata rabidly clutched the book and hugged it to her chest, sighing a pitch higher. "N-Naruto-kunn…"

"…?"

* * *

><p>"Here you go Neji-kun! And take care of that little ducky. Your blow ups are increasing so use him wisely!"<p>

"Hai."

"Bye bye!" Shizune-sensei smiled. Neji nodded and pleasantly held a new squeaky rubber duck, heading out of the nurses office. After the tarantula scene, he went to bed squeezing the daylights out of his old one, which after a few minutes, like he, blew apart in defeat.

A smaller shoulder bumped into his, and they both stopped, startled.

"Tenten."

The girl's face lit up from her deep scowl and she waved both her arms frantically.

Neji just raised an eyebrow and noticed Lee behind her, embarrassed.

"Is there something wrong?" Neji asked, blinking his eyes at his two best friends.

"I-It's a youthful game!" Lee lied.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Neji flinched at the ear pounding shout from Tenten's lips. "Why are you yelling?"

"S-she's just being youthfully hilarious!" Lee blubbered and turned to Tenten, waving his arms back.

Tenten glared and angrily waved her arms and smacked Lee's side. They both flapped their arms; the girl's face outraged, and Lee's frustrated.

Neji sulked. Why were his best friends so weird…?

Suddenly he felt that people were watching them. The trio slowly turned around to wide eyed students in the hall, who froze at the scene.

"…"

"…"

"…Youth."

Next thing the prodigy and Gai-sensei's youth activist knew was Tenten charging at the crowd, waving her arms manically and eventually chasing them away.

"Marvelous job, youthful Tenten!"

"WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Stop yelling, Tenten!"

"HUH? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"WHY ARE YOU-…is she deaf?"

Lee look flustered and scratched his head slowly. "Well, youthfully…"

"LOOK BAKAS. TALK LOUDER. I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING! AND I THINK IT'S 'CAUSE OF THIS HUMONGO-EYEBROWED IDIOT!"

"Love of fate… Did you yell right in her ear again, Lee? This is the 5th time this happened." Neji sighed and massaged his temples.

"Youthfully, well uh…"

"REAPEAT THAT! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"Get her quickly in the nurses office, Lee, before even more people surround us."

Mutters and chatter filled the space around them as returning nosy students watched and pointed.

"Okay, Tenten, we're youthfully entering the nurse's office of youth!"

"WHAT! WAIT. NEJI, IF YOU WERE WONDERING, I THINK LEE YELLED IN MY EAR AGAIN."

"Get her in now, Lee!"

"SHIZUNE-SAN? YOU HERE?"

"Oh Lee-san, not again!"

* * *

><p>Tenten wedged a fluorescent orange ear plug into her ear right when a running figure bumped into her, causing them to fall smack down on the tiled ground of the sparse-filled hallway.<p>

"Ow! Is that you Lee? I really AM gonna kill you!"

"Tenten!"

"Oh, Naruto?"

"Ah, this time you didn't dodge!"

The girl pinned underneath him on her belly rolled her eyes. "I was facing the other direction, moron. You know, you're a lot heavier than you look, kid."

"Ah," Naruto scratched his head sheepishly, his stomach on her back, "I just had 8 bowls of ramen after my awesome research!"

"Really now?" her became airy as her lungs were being squished by this idiot, "N-Naruto, off!" she wheezed.

He grinned and jumped up, offering an arm to help her up which she took, with a sigh slightly blowing her front bangs up, "G-Gomen. My bad."

After a few seconds of deep breathing, Tenten looked at Naruto. "Hey it's almost five; we should get going."

"Shouldn't we change into more comfortable clothes? Can't do Tai Chi with these tight pants! My button is about to burst!"

"Due to your freakish appetite."

"Oi!"

"Naruto-kun?" a new person stood beside them, in his green spandex glory.

"AH!" Naruto yelped. This guy had even bigger eye brows than Lee! What's even creepier, HE KNEW HIS NAME!

"Gai-sensei," Tenten spoke, surprised. Though, she should be used to it, him coming about of nowhere.

Naruto mouthed to Tenten who the heck he was. She replied; homeroom teacher.

"My blossom, Tenten-chan, and youthful Naruto-kun, how are your youthful souls this fine day? Ah! Save your breath, for you all look flush about with young energy and glorious youth!"

"…"

"Thanks…sensei."

"Bwahaha! Anyhow, you all look rushed, what is the dealio?"

Tenten cringed; no more 'hip youth' language cassettes for him! Naruto though became excited. "We're gonna do Tai Chi in an elevator!"

"_Le_ gasp! I dare say, blossom Tenten-chan, is this tidbit of youthful proclamation true?"

"Hai…sensei."

"MY! WHAT GREAT VASTS OF YOUTH ABOUNDS THIS LOVELY SCHOOL! What do you, Naruto-kun, think about it? For I am great expert, though modest, I dare say, in my ways of Tai Chi!"

"It's like ninjas!"

"_LE _GASP! What a wonderful exemplar! Don't you think so, blossom Tenten-chan?"

"Hai…sensei."

"GAI-SENSEI! OH, WHAT JOYS OF YOUTH, FOR ALAS I HAVE RUN INTO THE GREAT ETERNAL, YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI!"

"NO! GO AWAY, LEE! I DON'T HAVE MY EAR PLUGS FULLY IN YET!"

"OH LEE YOUR GRACE OF WORDS NEVER FAIL TO BRING TEARS OF YOUTH TO MY EYES!"

"YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEEEIIII!"

"**RAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN**!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Back to now…<strong>_

* * *

><p>Everybody seemed to be enjoying themselves as they strained to stretch the muscles they have not used in over 20 years. Oh yes, it was painful, but sooo necessary.<p>

"Neji-kun, my youthful eternal rival, hand me the boom box of youth! I shall put youthful entertainment on for our youthful ears!" Lee grinned and gleefully stretched out a hand towards the only pissed off occupant in the elevator.

"Hn!" Neji hurled the boom box at him and Lee caught it with grace.

Tenten was in lala land as she stretched her back into an arch and lifted each of her legs up and down. She was oblivious to the chatter and groans from the other occupants for she had fluorescent orange ear plugs wedged deeply in her ears.

Naruto wore bright orange leg warmers, similar to Lee's and muttered serenely while doing the crane.

"-_How come every time you come around my London London bridge-wanna go down my London London London?-wanna go down my London London London?-"_

"THAT'S MAH JAM!"

"Whooo!"

"Oh! How YOUTHFUL!"

"YEAH!"

"LEE! CHANGE IT!"

"Aw, don't be so unyouthful Neji-kun, my youthful eternal rival! Youthful Fergie is…how you say, the youthful_ bomb_!"

"**Lee**…"

"BOMB! WHERE?"

As people were suddenly shrieking, with Fergie's voice blasting out _London Bridge_, Naruto started doing the sprinkler, while Tenten stayed oblivious to reality, determined to put her knee behind her neck.

'_Such a lady but I'm dancing like a hoe-Oh SNAP! Cuz you know what I don't give a –blank- so here we go-Oh SNAP!_'

* * *

><p><strong>And that was Chapter 4 for ya'll! Ah, Hinata is such a doll lol. Well I didn't think that this update would take coughmonthscough but I apologize Dx Graduation is coming up and things are so hectic as many of you may probably know. <strong>

**I keep forgetting to mention this, but notice anything weird with Lee's language/diction since the first chapter? (first reviewer to answer my really lame Q gets a cookie XD) Yes, I'm doing the -hint- _exaggeration_ on purpose, cuz this is crackish and I figured, why not X)**

**Thanks for the patience and the reviews, hope you enjoyed, and see you next time :D! Review~**


	5. Chapter 5

**30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:**

**Disclaimer: Hereby swear that nothing [but plot] is owned. Promise. [**I do own Koi and his group. Yep…]****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5:<strong> _One word…flatulence!_

"Flatulence?!" Naruto frowned at the sheet, "I don't get it Tenten, what does _flatulence _mean?!"

Tenten glanced up from her red Sony™ laptop and cheekily smirked, "Farting, Naruto."

"Farting? NO WAY! YESSS!"

"Egh, yuck."

"What are you guys talking about?" Neji bounded over with a canned drink and sat in the shade under a large oak tree with Naruto and Tenten. Lee came rushing after him, grinning at everybody, and was soon busy working on a large poster sheet.

"Farting!"

"…That will be my cue to leave."

"Aw, don't be such a prick, Neji! Come 'ere!"

Neji sulked between smug Tenten and Naruto while Lee kept giggling youthfully while working on his youthful poster.

Tenten leaned over to Lee, curiously, "What is that…oh my gawd. Lee! Is that the reason you made me do that picture!? For _that_?"

"Youthful people need to youthfully understand the youthful importance of the youthful word 'YOUTH'!"

"And you think, '**GOT YOUTH?**' in pink and gold glitter with a picture of you ripping your spandex because you flex your freakin' "_giganto_" biceps so _strongly_ will make the rest of the students here…youthful?!"

"Youthfully, hai." Lee chirped.

"…"

"…"

"Whoa, how did you rip your spandex like that?! Show me!"

"Don't believe him, Naruto. It's all Photoshop." Tenten rolled her eyes, and then averted them to her computer screen.

"Hn." Neji agreed, taking a big gulp of apple juice. A can of apple juice a day makes his therapist go away.

"And how would you know, Tenten?"

"That's the picture he made me do," she passed the laptop to Naruto and he widened his eyes on a Photoshop project with a picture of Lee's _ping!_ smiling head, and another random picture of a huge green guy ripping his shirt…the Hulk.

"…Oh…"

* * *

><p>"We…don't really have to…fart do we?" Neji's eyebrow twitched as he and the others waited in a descending elevator ride at a mall. "And in such a public place…look, I see students from our Physics class, Tenten!" he said after he looked out the glass windows of the large elevator. He soon turned blue and covered his forehead with his palm.<p>

"Oh, Neji will you relax? Who cares, Koi and his girlfriend and their pack of retards are all mindless jerks that don't care about anything except their thigh fat." Tenten cheerfully patted his back in what he assumed to be a comforting matter, but when Tenten chirps like that, no one can be too sure.

"Yeah Neji, just chillax and take this," Naruto cheekily smirked and tossed the glaring older boy a mini whoope cushion and made sure he stuffed in his pocket to hide it, "These are our lethal, secretive weapons, unless of course, you ate beans and consumed a lot of dairy…"

"Shut up!"

Lee tapped a finger over his lips, "Oh youthful Neji-kun! Keep your unyouthful temper in youthful check! We youthfully shant be too unyouthfully loud!"

_Ding!_

The four occupants suddenly snapped their heads toward the opening elevator door.

"'Sup," five eccentric people walked in with their colorful lip and nose rings. Tenten was fascinated over their black ripped skirts and jeans, with those belt chains she wanted really badly at that moment. Those would be excellent as choking devices…

Naruto hid his lips behind his hands while grimacing; that would be so painful sticking something as big as that sharp, diamonded studded ring around his _soft_…supple, and _gentle _lip… NOOOO!

Lee whistled to himself, impatient to press down his blown whoopee cushion and wreak some youthful havoc yo!

As Lee giggled, Neji had a stern staring contest with one of the eccentric fellows in all his blue Mohawk glory and stoned-looking state.

And that was when Naruto pressed his butt against the elevator wall.

**PFFT**.

Everybody stared at him.

"…'Scuse me…" his blush lit up his face and he wanted to die. That…wasn't the whoope cushion…

"Whahehehehe!" Tenten silently screamed and laughed, hitting her fist against the wall. The other occupants crinkled their noses and just ignored the intruding sound…and smell.

**PFFFFFTTTT**! Lee grinned and set off his whoopee cushion.

**Pft**. **Pfffft**…**prbbbb**_**BOOM**_!

"Diss-gusting!" remarked one of the eccentric girls twisting her mouth open in repulsion.

"Wahhahahahahahahaaaa!" Tenten went on, this time banging her head against Neji.

Neji furiously pressed the buttons on the elevator trying not to mind the crazy girl disturbing his side; he needed to leave. NOW. In all his shifting he forgot to notice that he pressed his hip against the button panel and a little noise interrupted the already extremely thick, uncomfortable silence.

_**Pwuuu**_! went the squeaky sound from his mini whoope cushion.

With a little gurgle at the end.

"AHHHH! OH MY GAWD!" Tenten erupted in hilarity and slammed her shaky fist against the floor, and tears came out of her eyes.

"Neji! How indecent!" Naruto grinned, wagged a finger at him and missed Neji's glowing fist by _that_ much*.

Lee grinned and wiggled his eyebrows expectedly at the other occupants. They stared at them with wide, incredulous eyes and once the elevator FINALLY dinged open, they all scrambled out, shoving and hollering at each other to get out first like a pack of squeaky, disturbed rodents.

When they were all alone, Neji glared and chucked the whoope cushion down to the ground. "That's enough! I'm through! I'll jump out the elevator if I have to!"

"Aw Neji, you're just mad 'cause you farted in front of everybody!"

"It was the whoopee cushion! Who actually _did_ fart?!"

"O-OI! It's not my fault! I forgot I had an 8-cheese grilled sandwich today!"

"Diss-gusting!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"HA…HA…HAHAHA…THAT WAS SO YOUTHFUL! I CAN'T YOUTHFULLY HELP BUT UTTERLY SCREAM IN GLORIFYING YOUTHFUL JOY! WHEE!"

"T-that…was like…epic…oh my gawd," Tenten wheezed out, her face incredibly red, "So like…d-do it again!"

"Tenten," Naruto kneeled next to her, "you're the only one whose whoopee cushion didn't set off yet!"

"Y-yours…didn't…either! Hahahaha! That was just your BUTT! AH-snort-HA!"

Lee and Neji backed away but suddenly Naruto cracked up along with Tenten, in a moment of hilarious bliss.

"…Lee…let's…go…" Neji said unsurely and pressed the down button. Just as he did, the elevator door dinged open and Koi and his gang appeared.

Neji turned blue and faced the wall away from them. Koi was known for doing stupid, douche-like pranks. With less humor than Naruto's.

He once ran past Neji with scissors and a _strand_ of his precious hair was cut.

CUT!

"Well, well, hiya freaks."

"Hello Unyouthful Koi-san! How is all your unyouthfullness?! Unyouthfully bad? I unyouthfully hope so!" Lee saluted but wanted to Konoha Worldwind those unimpressive buttocks! Gai-sensei's buttocks are _way_ more youthful looking.

"Hn," the others muttered and put on a sour face.

Naruto and Tenten were still laughing their asses off, oblivious to the newcomers.

The newcomers stared at them, and confirmed their suspicion.

Drugs.

_Dum dum deed ah dum…duh duh dum dah._

Lee blinked along with the elevator music and blew his whoopee cushion behind his back. Neji just stood there. His nose still in the corner. Muttering to himself. And occasionally brushing his long, soft hair with his secret mini brush nobody knows he carries around.

"Neji, you carry a mini brush with you? And you call _me_ creepy!" Tenten whispered to him, wide eyed.

Never mind.

_Ding!_

"See ya later losers. Hey, Tenten, do you still have those sharp toys you screw yourself with? Didn't know you were into that kind of play… Call me sometime." Koi winked and his gang flipped their hair – yeah the guys too- and started off.

The rest in the elevator glared along on Tenten's behalf, as she suddenly stopped laughing.

With a raised eyebrow, she turned to her friends in irritation, "Did you guys hear that?" then she stared at Koi's gang, "It sounded like a whiny ass fruit cup, but all I can see are pieces of shit…."

"Heh?! Whatever. _LOSERS_." Koi said with that typical guy, I-so-totally-rock-and-all-o-ya'll-are-my-slaves type of voice and gasped when the elevator doors closed on their group.

**PFFFFFFTTTT**!

**BRRRRRPPPPPPPRRR**!

**PWU**. **PWU**.

"What the hell!?"

**BRBBB**!

"Ewwwwwww Koi!" Lee, Naruto and Tenten blew the air around their noses in disgust.

"THAT WASN'T ME-"** PFT**!

"Sure!"

**PFT**_**BOOOM**_!

"Diss-gusting." Neji smirked.

So the flustered evil people left, and the good guys won.

Then they lived happily ever after.

"THEE-" **PRBUUBB** "ENDDD!"

* * *

><p><strong>*'Kay, if you know the classic funnies (not the Stooges…maybe later xD) like the 60's original Get Smart series, Max's famous line 'missed it by that much' inspired meh. <strong>

**Eh heh. It's been a while, huh? I wonder if people even read this story anymore x'D. Sorry guys. Well, I promise to finish it to the end AND I SWEAR IT WON'T TAKE ME 15 YEARS, GUYS D: Well let's start enjoying the holiday season coming up ^^ Share your _thoughts_/_comments_/_criticisms_/_whatever the heck ya want to say_ about this whole darn [farting] business in a review below~**


	6. Chapter 6

**30 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and co. and neither these elevator prank ideas u.u Just the plot. ****Oh, and and two new characters -which I also do not own- joins us ;D And if you don't exactly know, super balls are the larger kind of bouncy balls ^^**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6:<strong> _Bounce a super ball around the elevator._

Naruto and Tenten stuck their chipper faces against a toy store window.

"Ooh, let's get that one!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing to a pretty, rainbow swirly super bouncy ball on display. "Oh! And that toy frog! And that train set…and that car, oh! Oh! Tenten! I want that bike!"

"Jeez Naruto, what are you? 5?" Tenten raised an eyebrow in amusement.

The blonde boy with excited blue eyes grinned optimistically. "Psshh. The Christmas spirit makes me giddy. Ooohooohoo!"

"Haha," Tenten grinned, while wrapping her plaid pink, yellow and gray zip up jacket tighter. The fall wind is turning chillier by the second; in a few weeks it will already be Christmas.

"Oh yep. But a bike sounds realllllllly awesome right now. And I only have…" Naruto peered into his warm orange and blue hoodie pockets, and took out his frog wallet with earnest.

"How much?"

"…¥50…"

"…I'm sorry." She patted him awkwardly on the arm with a grim look on her face.

"Sniff, give me moment!"

"…?"

"Oh gawd…sniff, well here goes…TENTEN, CAN YOU BUY ME THE BIKE?!"

"NOT ON MY DANGO'S LIFE."

"Okay fiiinnnne-ah!" Naruto pouted. "I tried, dattebayo…"

"Sigh, if it'll make you feel better, we'll split for the super ball. And I'll treat you to ramen?" Tenten wiggled her eyebrows. "One bowl only."

Naruto soon smiled broadly, "Hai! Arigatou Tenten! You are like, Dattebayo worthy!"

"Thanks…"

"Now let's have you buy the super balls!"

"We're _splitting_ for it."

"Heh, can't blame an Uzumaki for trying again…"

* * *

><p>Tenten glanced around, chewing on a dango quite happily. Naruto discussed with her during their ramen meal that now they needed new recruits.<p>

Well, it's about time.

Her at-the-moment twinkly brown eyes scanned every bustling student running into buildings for warmth. But would they stop a moment if she called out to them? Ooh, maybe they should put up a sign!

Wait, no, then teachers would ask questions…

"Hi, Tenten-senpai!" a girly, cheery voice interrupted Tenten's thoughts. She turned around face to face with platinum blonde and electric blue.

"Oh! It's Yamanaka Ino!" Tenten grinned at her former dance drill buddy and held up a peace sign. She popped another dango in her mouth.

The pretty girl smiled back, rubbing her manicured hands over her expensive looking, purple puffy jacket to keep warm. "Hey, I see you still have an obsession for dangos,"

"Oh," Tenten sheepishly grinned, "I guess. Do you want one?"

"No thanks, I heard they have, like, a lot of calories," Ino answered with her eyes big.

Tenten blinked and suddenly scanned her butt. Was it getting larger?!

"Ha, but no, I just came over to tell you that you had something on your back," Ino turned the dazed girl's shoulder with concern.

"I do?" Tenten craned her neck over her shoulder and stared as Ino pulled the paper to the front. It was a sign reading,

**TAKE A DANGO**

**(in my pocket betchh x3…)**

Tenten's jaw dropped, "Oh my gawd, that's where they all went! And here I was, getting flustered when random people just started hugging me! And pissed off when I found my snacks missing! I thought it was Hug-a-Person Day! Freakin' ugh… I wonder who did that…"

Ino giggled and shook her head, "Neji-kun and Lee-san didn't say anything to you?"

"Nah," Tenten waved her hand, "I haven't seen them yet, but Lee texted me saying he was going with Neji to buy some things for…" She stopped and studied Ino. SHE COULD BE THE NEW RECRUIT!

"To get what?" Ino blinked her glittery made-up eyes.

"INO! What do you think of this!?"

Tenten handed the deeply folded sheet of the 30-fun-things-to-do-in-an-elevator-list to the surprised blonde and in just minutes they were chattering away excitedly.

* * *

><p>"'-Get low, get low, get low-(<em>shimmy<em>)-get low, get low, get low... TO THE WINDOOOOWWW*-' GACK!"

_Bam!_

"…"

Naruto peeled himself off the ground, and humbly brushed himself off.

"…" Then he whipped his head and glared at the foot belonging to Sasuke.

"WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"Might I say you're tone deaf?" the handsome boy sneered.

"Hmph!" Naruto stuck his tongue out, "I know I'm better than you! Sakura-chan would agree!"

"Right. Whatever."

Their eyes traveled to the fluorescent white walls enveloping them in a long, narrow hall. Pictures and certificates hung up on them of top students and their impressive achievements through the past years.

"Hey teme," Naruto side glanced at him, "What do you think of funny to-do lists?"  
>As discussed with Tenten, over a scrumptious bowl of ramen, they shall reel in more recruits! And so, it is time to ask Sasuke to join the dark side…<p>

Neji could bake cookies!

Sasuke however raised an eyebrow. He never heard of such. "To-do lists?"

"Well you don't _**HAVE**_ to do them…"

"…"

"…"

"…_?_"

"…But you could…"

"…Uh…"

"Aw teme, you never heard of like, stuff to do in a certain places?"

"_Hn_? …What are you saying?!"

"Listen, like hilarious pranks to do in public, sorta in... Say…an elevator?" Naruto wiggled his eyebrows at the disgusted Uchiha and rubbed up against him in a sleazy way.

"Get away from me!"

"Huh? W-wait! You don't get it! Ouch! Hey –yow! Stop it! Quit snapping rubber bands at me, ya hoe!"

* * *

><p>"'Kay, well Sasuke is out of the question…" Naruto mumbled as he got in the car and pouted to everybody.<p>

The others stared curiously and Tenten spoke up, "How did he take it?" as she started the car and they drove off to a Konoha business center.

"He didn't even see the list! Once I started to explain what it is, he ran away and gave me these!" Naruto pulled up his orange sweater sleeve and grimaced.

Tenten, Neji, Lee and Ino widened their eyes and oohed and ahhed at the skinny, red marks all over his tan arm.

"What the hell did he do? Give you millions of tiny hickies?!" Ino's eye twitched and her lip curled downward.

"NO WAY! That teme pelted me with rubber bands. Stupid hoe."

"Oh! Youthful Naruto! I youthfully bestow my youthful sorrow for this unyouthful unfortunate happening!"

"Thanks Lee! That means a lot to me! Oh gawsh –sniff-."

Neji just rolled his eyes soundlessly and sat there with his arms crossed.

"Wait, Ino-pig?! What are you doing here!?" the blonde suddenly shouted and pointed to the passenger seat next to Tenten after glomping Lee.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?! I came because Tenten asked me to! And stop calling me that, dickwad." Ino crossed her arms defiantly.

Tenten grinned along and nodded through her rear view mirror, "Yep, she's our new recruit, plus she has a glittery super ball that lights up!"

"Oh cool! Wait, doesn't ours light up too?" Naruto asked Tenten.

"Yep."

Naruto nudged Neji with his elbow, "My super ball has a picture of ramen on it. I bet yours doesn't!"

Neji just turned his head and indifferently stared back, "Thank goodness no. I just got a gray one."

"Ooh, lemme see!"

"No," Neji glared his opal eyes.

"What? Why!"

"It's because Neji-kun, my youthful eternal rival, has an unyouthful picture on his super ball!"

"Unyouthful?" everybody else repeated. Neji was about to hit Lee.

"**Shut**.** Up**. _Now_. Lee."

But Lee ignored him, "Hai, unyouthful, for Neji's unyouthful super ball has an artificially 'youthful' picture of an unyouthful blossom in the 'youthful' bare…her bosom also being quite _youthfully_…large."

"…I don't get it."

"A 'youthful' naked female with huge youthful tits, gawd Naruto-kun." Lee uncharacteristically retorted and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, who are you and where did you kill and dump Lee off?"

"Hey, I'm more interested in Neji's perverted toy."

"Oh, that's right. Hey Neji: _**what**_?!"

"_You_ of all people? Well hey…you can always give me a call…"

"Um, Ino-"

"-_Ew_! I just lost all my respect for you, **bastard**."

"Don't say such things, Tenten! Lee won it for me in those stupid gumball machines! I didn't even realize it until we left!"

"Then why do you still have it? I bet it's in your pocket right now…shoving her naked, voluptuous body against your hip-"

"Ahhh! My word! Give me that super ball!" Naruto dived toward Neji and reached in his pockets. "You can have my ramen one!"

"Hey, get off of me, Naruto! Do not touch me there! STOP. HEY-**I'm. **_**Going**_**. To **_**kill **_**you**."

Ino and Tenten widened their eyes and turned red. Tenten clumsily changed lanes and somebody flipped the bird out of one of the car's windows. She immediately threw a dango at their car window.

Ino giggled and nervously twiddled her hair, debating on whether she should turn around again and check it out.

Lee just screamed in the background, waving his arms every now and then.

And Neji was just about strangling Naruto with said blonde in an awkward looking position with Neji's leg in between Naruto's knees. The hyperactive kid's hands were rummaging down Neji's body to God knows where, all in pursuit of that highly inappropriate bouncy ball.

It's a wonder they didn't get a ticket.

* * *

><p>"Yahoo!" Naruto grinned and slammed his super ball with a picture of ramen against the elevator walls where it ended up hitting Lee's face.<p>

Neji took one of Lee's green super ball with' YOUTH' on it after having Ino shove the gray indecent one out in the street once the car commotion ceased (thanks to Tenten's perfect aim hitting Neji and Naruto squarely in the face with large, glass, flower beads Ino kept in possession for some random reason) and after they quickly parked in the lot belonging to a large IRS building.

Tenten aimed her metallic red super ball against the 5th floor button, hitting it perfectly before it bounced backwards as she dodged and smacked Lee's face.

Ino giggled as her glittery purple super ball bounced wildly against the walls and hit everything, even Lee's face!

"They youthfully like me!" Lee squealed as Neji's smacked him on the nose with a strong _pow_!

Naruto caught his and slammed it to the floor where it shot up and, just as the elevator doors opened, hit a newcomer.

_SMACK_!

"OW- HOW TROUBLESOME."

"Wha! Ohemgee, I'm so sorry!" Naruto panicked and fluttered over to the newcomer.

Everybody let their super ball bounces cease and they stared.

"Shikamaru?! What are you doing here?!" Ino yelped and took the boy's arm, surprised.

A tan, tall boy with his dark hair pulled into a high ponytail grunted and sighed. Casting a weary glance at the others, he walked over to the corner and crossed his arms. The elevator doors closed, and the rising feeling tickled their stomachs.

"I only went to see my father. Nothing special about this arduous drag," Nara Shikamaru grumbled with a scowl. They stared at his semi-professional attire of fitted, handsome black slacks and a gray blazer over a white, v-neck shirt. Nobody pressed and he spoke again with mild interest.

"What are all you doing here, anyways?"

Naruto grinned and jumped excitedly, "WE ARE THROWING SUPER BALLS AROUND THE ROOM BECAUSE OF A LIST!"

"...How...intriguing..."

Naruto rolled his eyes and took out the piece of paper, "My pen pal from America sent me a chain letter email with these." he pointed to the numbers and the tasks beside them. "'Know what these babies are?"

Shikamaru closed his eyes and answered, "30 Fun Things to do in an Elevator. It's a list."

"RIGHT. So Tenten, Neji, Lee, Ino and me are doing the tasks!"

"'_I'_ Youthful Naruto-kun!" Lee held up a pointer finger.

"Huh? Who died and made you Queen Kiba?! We're _all_ doing the tasks, Lee!"

Neji rolled his eyes, "No, he means '_Tenten, Neji, Lee, Ino and _**I**'. You said '_me_'. And Kiba the Queen…?.

"No," Naruto pouted, "I said all of us, not just you, Neji!"

"…Why do I even try..."

With a skyward eye roll, Tenten whacked Naruto upside the head and corrected, "They're talking about grammar, smart one. And you meant Queen _of Sh_eba."

Naruto blinked his blue eyes innocently. "Oh…I thought it was 'me'? And hey, Kiba complains so much he might as well be a Queen."

Ino gave a girlish giggle and placed a hand on his shoulder, "No worries Naruto! I've made that mistake 16 times in the past two weeks!"

"No way! I thought that was just me!"

The phrase Blondes have more fun, was vaguely summoned to mind as Shikamaru stared with an eye twitch, "Why is this even remotely interesting?"

_Ding!_

Everybody turned their attention to the opening elevator doors as three men in business suits and dark, large sunglasses entered without a sound.

With a wiggle of their eyebrows, Lee and Naruto suddenly shot their super balls and they bounced on every available surface with lightning speed.

THWACK.

"_Hey_," one of the men that were whacked suddenly reached into his suit and pulled out a…

"OH MY GOD!" Ino shrieked and held on to Shikamaru, Tenten, Naruto, and Lee in fright.

Neji's eyes widened at the steely hand gun gripped in the man's fist, pointing it at the frightened group.

"Who was that," the man asked with a deep monotone, and the tension in the room turned thick and cold.

"A s-s-super ball…g-gomenasai," Naruto said with an almost inaudible, shaky voice. He wanted to cry his ass off NOW.

"Oh…" the other men looked at each other and nodded. "Like this?" they all held up their own super balls and then they grinned, exposing their white, sparkly teeth.

"…"

"…."

"…youth."

"…"

"…"

"…We would trust you if you put your gun away…" Shikamaru said with a scowl. Part of this company, he forgot to mention, worked for the FBI. Who knew an Insurance company could be so supercilious?

"Ah, hai, Nara-san. Excuse us." The man with the gun bowed modestly and did as told.

"THEY KNOW YOU?! WHY DIDN'T YOU PROTEST EARLIER?! _**WHY**_!?" they all shrieked still gripping each other.

"Once upon a time, t'was **troublesome**."

"You freakin' ass!"

Within moments, somehow, all occupants were all buddy-buddy, with Tenten glancing around in privacy, as the man with the gun explained to her everything she needed to know about it, both giggling like schoolgirls. And our dear beloved Naruto, gossiping to one of the other men, with a shocked grin about Neji's indecent super ball.

* * *

><p><strong>Yoooo. Finally, new characters XD Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wonder if I will update before Christmas... Well, either way, HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HAPPY HANUKKAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS OR JUST HAVE A GREAT DECEMBER, GUYS X) <strong>


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